It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
