sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
