Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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