dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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