nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
