Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
wow bdsm is so cute
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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