i permit you to call me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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