Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i love accidental penises.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
