you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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