As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Pants are for mortals
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize