So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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