He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
