Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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