how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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