Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize