Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Why are we friends again?

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  (973): New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out.. (1-973): Why are we friends again? http://tfl.nu/4ygf
  Replies (38) Good night (977) Bad night (3110)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.

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  (310): Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar. http://tfl.nu/dxcg
  Replies (2) Good night (4207) Bad night (487)
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  (518): View more from New York

  alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  dude. you drew those with your dick

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  (518): alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from? (1-518): dude. you drew those with your dick http://tfl.nu/4t0i
  Replies (24) Good night (7285) Bad night (1422)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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  (757): It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower. http://tfl.nu/w3u9
  Replies (11) Good night (2914) Bad night (823)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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  (252): it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet http://tfl.nu/si54
  Replies (6) Good night (2133) Bad night (1291)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?

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  (909): It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it? http://tfl.nu/yjug
  Replies (8) Good night (1842) Bad night (632)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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  (727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2
  Replies (10) Good night (837) Bad night (1472)
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  (212): View more from New York

  all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"

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  (212): all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???" http://tfl.nu/w522
  Replies (8) Good night (1313) Bad night (634)
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  (365): View more from

  As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.

  (1-365): View more from

  I was judging you.

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  (365): As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over. (1-365): I was judging you. http://tfl.nu/3tin
  Replies (3) Good night (3092) Bad night (468)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal

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  (516): i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal http://tfl.nu/qt14
  Replies (6) Good night (1767) Bad night (446)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life

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  (256): I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life http://tfl.nu/6fwv
  Replies (4) Good night (246) Bad night (695)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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  (512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz
  Replies (7) Good night (434) Bad night (313)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.

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  (+61): Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with. http://tfl.nu/73vt
  Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (553)
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  (818): View more from California

  Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business

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  (818): Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business http://tfl.nu/hoe8
  Replies (4) Good night (1075) Bad night (167)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?

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  (780): Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night? http://tfl.nu/co1o
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (153)

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