How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
