she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.