Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

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(815): View more from Illinois

It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.

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(513): View more from Ohio

We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.

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(406): View more from Montana

You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.

(1-406): View more from Montana

That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...

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