Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You up for the gym tonight after work?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Chris Brown style, or less felonious?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Haha, all felonious.

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  (248) You up for the gym tonight after work? (734): I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog. (248): Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today. (734): Chris Brown style, or less felonious? (248): Haha, all felonious. http://tfl.nu/kj7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1509) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought spray tan was a myth

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (206): View more from Washington

  You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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  (206): I thought spray tan was a myth (1-206): ? (206): You know, something that only happens in Jersey http://tfl.nu/gplq
  Replies (48) Good night (2681) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her

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  (203): Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her http://tfl.nu/iis3
  Replies (32) Good night (5142) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

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  (727): Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose? http://tfl.nu/qulw
  Replies (112) Good night (1170) Bad night (16124)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.

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  (339): He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning. http://tfl.nu/40hx
  Replies (10) Good night (2246) Bad night (5513)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?

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  (512): Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it? http://tfl.nu/y99r
  Replies (14) Good night (942) Bad night (4184)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.

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  (707): You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are. http://tfl.nu/sbxa
  Replies (6) Good night (1193) Bad night (3043)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many

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  (515): Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many http://tfl.nu/90pg
  Replies (2) Good night (1684) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.

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  (608): We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth. http://tfl.nu/k58a
  Replies (29) Good night (2176) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?

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  (646): You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std? http://tfl.nu/jhp0
  Replies (17) Good night (1382) Bad night (3307)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

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  (651): I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen. http://tfl.nu/ant7
  Replies (9) Good night (2448) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever

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  (716): She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever http://tfl.nu/gnyf
  Replies (8) Good night (1518) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.

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  (559): Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat. http://tfl.nu/iy5b
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.

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  (570): She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/lhd6
  Replies (0) Good night (1237) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...

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  (315): Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive... http://tfl.nu/bhkn
  Replies (3) Good night (272) Bad night (423)

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