Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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