Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
