Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just high enough for therapy.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
