My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
