the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize