and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
