Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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