Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
