he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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