If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
