Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
