I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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