Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
