dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
