yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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