Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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