I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm just crazy horny about you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
