No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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