Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
