I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
