Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
