ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
