he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
