he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
