just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
