You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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