I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
