The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
