im six kinds of drunk right now
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize