Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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