I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
