Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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