ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
