how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
