I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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