i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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