8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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