i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
