Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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