I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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