dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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