Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
