I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize