I just cut my nipple shaving
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
