Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Those nachos came to me in a dream
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
