So drunk, too bad you don't want this
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
