She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
